Birthday Reflections

Inasmuch as birthdays are milestones, it has become customary in our culture to reflect on the past year, evaluate our place in life, and reassess our plans for the future every year around the anniversary of our birth. There’s no particular reason that we should choose a specific day every year to remind us to reflect on ourselves in a profound way. Why not examine life everyday?

But such contemplation can be a difficult and fruitless undertaking, often leading to a sense of frustration and disappointment that many would just as soon avoid. So we tend to float along day to day, bobbing about with the flotsam and jetsam of everyday life without too much thought of our place in the sea. It makes sense, then, that we create markers for ourselves on the road of life to remind us of where we’ve been, where we are, and where we’re going.

And if we are to create arbitrary points to look at where we came from, so that we can create a sense of self out of the narrative of our own journey to today and project it forward into the future, then birthdays are as good a day as any.

With this in mind, the 28th anniversary of my birth provides an obvious opportunity to attempt to make some sense of my life. And though I am generally a thoughtful and contemplative person by nature, I rarely take the opportunity to explore my life in print.

So here, now, is my sense of the past year:
I taught tennis and tutored. I wondered about major changes but made few. I enjoyed the company of friends on walks, hikes, rides, and outings. I replaced brake cylinders and rebuilt carburetors. I was greatly appreciated by many people who matter to me, and yet was stung by the callousness of a few who don’t. I supported and facilitated my brother’s artistic endeavors. I advised youth and took pictures, led tours and attended car shows.*

And the sense that emerges from all these happenings is that mine is a fortunate life, despite the scars. I am content, and yet restless. I am unashamed, but disappointed. I am practical but prone to wondering. I am happy, and yet…